Twas a Fruity Nite at Sesshou's
by PsychoSybil
Summary: My version of Twas the Night Before Xmas. Features: Sesshou, Jaken, Rin, and Naraku & his Pep Squad.


Twas not a peaceful, quiet night at this Sesshoumaru's overly grandiose Palace.

Not a worthless ningen was stirring, or even Jaken, that insanely perverted louse!

An ADD-driven Rin was again swinging from the Venetian Crystal Chandeliers,

Screaming loudly in hopes of breaking my very sensitive youkai ears! (GRRRRR!)

Jaken touched me THERE again while I slept, then smartly hid under my bed.

I woke up stark naked with his crotch slathering itself quite snugly to my head.

"AAAAAAHHHH!!!!" I screamed, goo covered, "HOLY FRIGGIN' CRAP!!!!"

"Oh, sire!!" The degenerate cooed while humping my ear, "Your dick is so magnetic!!!"

When out from my royal bedroom doors there arose such an ear-splitting clatter.

I sprang from the bed to discover my expensive chandeliers so did very shatter.

$100,000,000,000,000 Yen down the drain!!! I glared at Rin who caused the crash.

Her eyes were red and swollen. Clearly, Jaken taught her to smoke some goodly hash!

"You are both going to PAY for this!!" I fumed. They blanked as if they hadn't a clue…

Towards My Person they pointed & snickered, telling me bluntly, "Chill out, Sesshou!"

"Huh?" I mumbled, taken aback; when what to my minions' wondering eyes shud appear

In the hallway mirrors before them and my Royal Distress, but my bare naked derriere!

Wide-eyed, this Sesshoumaru screamed like Paris Hilton, holding his crown jewels quick.

To my room I flew with Jaken aiming a Tommy Lee Dildo at my Royal Ass about 3 foot thick!

More rapidly than the Kaze no Kizu that green, depraved, miscreant, sick polliwog came.

Calling my Now-Disturbed Royal Person, 'Sex-shoumaru-sama'. Some atrocious pet name!

"Er..Ah…Bend ovah, Siyah!" It squealed sounding like Senatah Kennedy with a young vixen.

Glaring down upon the anticipating, drooling freak, to 7 Hells this Royal dropped kicked him!

Scratching up my good bedroom doors, I cud hear the fuckin' frogger moan, screech & bawl,

"Sesshooumaruu-saamaaa!!!" Shaking my head in my hands, obviously **IT** was still out in the hall.

Dry heaves & with wrong thought, major blow chunks from this Sesshoumaru's mouth did fly.

Now showered & fully dressed & with Tokijin in hand strode this one pissed-off Inu-TaiYoukai

To deal w/the Bastard Two, who smugly each flipped me the bird stating, "Blow it out your whazoo!"

Enraged, with claws& fangs after them I came, however, they ducked and instead into a wall I flew.

Recovering?, I dazedly tried to catch the stars twinkling before my bloodshot eyes. On the roof

A major commotion occurred, that could only be the prancing and pawing of some demon's hoof.

Rin & Jaken were snorting up oblivious as I drew Tokijin in hand whilst my brain still spun round

Only to see coming down the chimney but that 2 timing, rat-bastard Naraku, who leapt with a bound.

As per the usual scene, he was dressed in that ridiculous monkey-fur get-up from head to foot.

And he wore nothing else underneath it except for blackened ashes and some well placed soot.

Gimme an 'N', Gimme an 'A', etc: His Pep Squad, Kagura, Kanna & Kohaku, was at his back.

Feeling giddy after his announcement, he turned round, flipped up his suit and showed his crack.

Jaken's jaw hit the floor, eyes twinkling at prospect of getting twixt Narkau's ass-dimples hairy.

Naraku's firm cheeks shook like sweet roses, in hopes of Jaken busting his eager hanyou cherry.

We watched in horrid fascination as Jaken's beak puckered as if were some horny new groom

Scooping up his 'bride', he headed off to my walk-in closet. Seconds later twas heard, "Ku! Ku! Ku..Kugutsu!" (or maybe it was more like boo-hoo-hoo?)

Later, both emerged with Jaken sporting many a bump & the Staff of Heads shoved thru his teeth.

Appearing unhappy, unsated and quite violated, the 'bride' with Jaken had only one major beef,

Or maybe it was two?: "You said it was in!" and "Why the fuck did you keep calling me 'Kelly'!?"

Offering up a response, the yet still horny-toad exclaimed, "Wanna try again?!? I brought KY Jelly!"

"Squirrels have more nuts than you!!!" Naraku screeched, glomping the scampering malformed elf

I, Rin & the Cheerleading Squad were now in hysterics, laughing at that sorry bucket of demon filth.

In a wink of an eye, the beating stopped & up to me Naraku walked. A sweat drop formed on my head.

"Hey big boy!" He seductively said, rubbing himself against my Royal Self. I had everything to dread.

Without speaking a word, on my firm, muscular body that 2 timing, rat-bastard, Naraku, went to work.

"Not again", I muttered running his leased body thru w/Tokijin. I seethed, "Naraku, you fucking jerk!"

"Be still my beating heart!" He hysterically shrieked. Promptly, I punched him right in his borrowed nose.

"Uhhhh!" He screamed. "Are you threatening me with a good time!?" Beneath the suit something arose.

"Turn around handsome! Strike a pose & slowly take off them clothes!" He chimed, giving out a whistle.

Naraku, if he had his way, would jab me like a pincushion. "Let me go put on something simple!"

He whispered, blowing kisses towards my Still-Very Disturbed Person as I watched him vanish from sight.

Flexing my claws, I vowed I'd rip him a new asshole alright as I heard: "Sesshou, I'll see you tonite!


End file.
